Fellatio is teh humiliating

Recently, I read that Ségolène Royal once said that fellatio is humiliating for women.

I’m all for acts and opinions that can help reduce sexism in any place of the world, but this is just getting it wrong.

No sexual act is humiliating in itself. Only a context can make it humiliating. Let’s say that I, an adult girl able to take decisions on her own, would be currently dating a man I love and trust*. The man in question follows basic rules of hygiene, and respects and loves me. I decide to perform fellatio on him. Where is the humiliation? “Ooh, a woman is giving pleasure to a man! This is a shame! Have you forgotten all that feminism has done for you?”

Yeah, right…I feel so terribly ashamed. I’m in a couple and I’m doing something for the other person. Or, hell, I could even not be in a couple and just be fooling around with some guy. I give him oral sex. Should I feel ashamed? Absolutely not!

If you’re being treated like crap by your partner, then something is wrong. But there is nothing wrong in giving pleasure to your partner (regardless of your respective gender). It can be a fellatio, a massage, a box of chocolate. The act in itself is not humiliating. Only a humiliating context can make it so.

* I’m currently single. Just placing a context here.



  1. Nellie Said:

    It’s only humiliating if he gets you in the face, rather than the mouth!

  2. ubuntucat Said:

    I’d say if it’s not reciprocal, it can be unfair (humiliating is a bit of a stretch). But, you’re right. It’s all about context. Unfortunately, the context we’re usually presented with in Hollywood (always hinted at, of course, never fully shown) makes us as a society associate fellatio with humiliation, since it usually happens in the storyline as a matter of coercion or dominance (and not in a “we’re kinky” kind of dominance).

  3. Belinda Said:

    I agree with this post. It really annoys and saddens me when not only does traditionally men and society shame women for how they think and behaviour, but when women do it to each other. Expressions of love is an expression of confidence, why is that put down and negatively judged? It’s so conservative, this idea that women should be shamed from performing certain acts, that they should only engage in some prescribed ways to have intercourse.

  4. Kristine Said:

    What about cunnilingus? Would that be humiliating for men? No, not at all. Ah.. Extreme feminists.

  5. Kristine Said:

    What about cunnilingus? Would that be humiliating for men? No, not at all. Ah.. Extreme feminists. I definitely agree with you. It’d be shameful only if you were treated like crap and if you were forced to do it, but if it’s something a woman wants to do for her man, there is nothing shameful about it.

  6. Shen-Shen Said:

    I agree. Feminism annoys me to no end.

  7. Hanna Said:

    Well I can only agree with you, act isn’t humiliating but the context. What about cunnilingus, is it humiliating for men then?!? PAH. I have never humiliated and I’m not going to start feeling shame now. I think it’s mine and my partner’s business what we do and what not.

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