I Hate Radio

Did I ever write about how much I hate radio? I don’t hate the service in itself, I just hate radio here, in my small-ass region. I never bothered listening to the radio elsewhere anyway, so I can’t speak for it.

First, there’s my mom’s station. Classic music, opera, boring old French singers and boring people (I can’t remember what’s the word for “animateur” in English). How merry.

Then, there’s my parents’ station. More boring music and not-so-boring people, but still boring in general.

Finally, the three most commercial stations. One that is also boring, and which we love to call the aunts’ station. One that plays rock. I used to adore classic rock, so I was always listening to this station. But now I don’t really like it anymore.

And, finally, the commercial station. They play the same goddamn songs all the time, and I really mean it. They choose the five to ten “hits” of the week and play them at least three times a day, during the whole week. Of course, nothing keeps a song from being a “hit” two weeks in a row, and even more.

What’s a “hit”? I always thought a hit was a song that is popular. I however have the feeling that they decide on what is going to be a hit before starting to air the song. They also have a tendency to refer to every single song they play as a hit. Of course, hits are popular songs and everyone loves popular songs, so if you know that one is playing, you will listen to it and enjoy it.

Of course, I should hide with my hatred for James Blunt and a bunch of artists they play. Everyone loves them, didn’t you know this? I have a strong admiration for all of these cool artists, really.

However, playing crappy music (probably with repeat and shuffle both on) isn’t enough to make you a commercial radio worthy of this name. They spice things up with gossip about celebrities (what is more interesting than the breed (I had trouble resisting putting “brand”) of the dog of Paris Hilton?) and “reality” shows (how do I love watching stereotyped girls pulling each other’s hair to get sex love from stereotyped boys!), stupid contests, stereotyped jokes and, most important, a crap show from Monday to Friday, at 3:30pm.

How much is there to say against about this show! Two dumb guys — their stupidity actually is used to attract people, as stupid humor is the funniest thing ever — make dumb, overheard jokes about pretty much everything.

Since I can’t possibly say “stereotype(d)” too often in the same post, I would qualify their characters as stereotyped, and generally stupid. Before continuing, let me interrupt by mentioning that the two people that make me laugh the most, excluding my sister, are an unfortunately deceased, but very clever, humorist known as “Sol” (Marc Favreau was his real name), who played with words and created new ones in order to pass his messages, and Vincent, who is the most awesomest guy ever and would be able to make me laugh at pretty much any moment, which is humor which is, you’d never get it, clever.

Let’s just check a few characters from the show I was talking about. Jocelyne is an ex-model whose husband is unfaithful but, as every woman to whom it happens, is too stupid to realize it. I could continue, bu

[the rest of this entry must have been lost because of a crappy host]

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