Dream

My ex had a girlfriend up to recently. I’m not talking about Eric, but about some other guy I dated for a whole week when I was in college. His “new” girlfriend-he was with her for a few months at least-has recently broken up with him. If I am to trust his MSN username (ah, technology!), he doesn’t take it quite well and doesn’t him to, er “get it”.

Anyway…currently, according to this very username, he is the most honest man in the world.

Cough.

I beg to differ…No, I’m not begging for anything. I will plainly say the truth: you, ex of mine, are not the most honest man in the world. I don’t know if any such person exists, but that’s beside the point here. Sure, the guy is nice and he’s not a manipulative compulsive liar, but he isn’t all that honest either.

You see, there once was a time where I was quite close to him. You could say he was my “confidant”. I would tell him everything, or almost. I trusted him deeply. And there was this other guy whom I had a crush on (that was in Secondary V, 4 years ago), who was also a friend of my ex. I would tell my then-not-yet-ex (and not yet boyfriend, of course) about him. I couldn’t speak in terms of frequency and whatnot, but I certainly mentioned him quite more than once.

I was entirely oblivious to an important fact, however: my then-not-yet-ex liked me. Very, very much. Naturally, he became jealous. He told me that my crush found me annoying and wished I would stop talking to him. Of course, I believed him. Looking back now, I know that it was very unlikely because I didn’t speak with him all that much (not at all outside classes).

I ended up getting rather angry at the other guy (my crush) for being such a “hypocrite”…And I told him. I wasn’t vulgar or anything, but I was angry and I hurt him. Everything came to light, fortunately, and I have, er, “made peace” with my no-longer-crush.

The fact remains that the guy lied to me in order to a) make my crush look like a bad guy and b) make himself look better (after all, look at his “honesty! He was telling me of another person’s “hypocrisy”!). So no, ex of mine, the title of the most honest man in the world is not reserved for you.

A post has been running through my head for a few days now, but I never got around to posting it. I’m in a down right now, mostly due to my period.

I also sleep very poorly. I wake up around 2 or 3 am and can’t fall asleep before the sun is up. During the time I’m awoke, I feel very stressed and tense. I get intense periods of fear due to my phobias and obsessions. And, as I try to relax to fall asleep…A furry bitch jumps on me with her toy mouse and tells me it’s time to play.

I also bought a Nintendo DS Lite today.

So, well, the entry will come up soon. It’s not something geeky, it’s more about sociolojay ‘n’ stuff.

The weather is quite fine today. It’s been sunny all day long, there isn’t much wind and it’s quite comfortable. I opened the back door because letting in some fresh air is always good. There’s a mosquito net, so my cat can enjoy the air without going outdoors. I don’t want her to go there.

I was playing Final Fantasy and I happened to throw a look in the direction of the door. I saw a cat passing on the balcony outside. Nothing special there, as there are several cats in the area. I decided to go and check it out. I like seeing my cat interacting with other cats, even when there’s a door between them.

My, what am I seeing? It’s a bit small, but it’s still an adult cat. It doesn’t look sick at all. It’s stomach is white, but its back and head are striped gray. It has thumbs. It isn’t afraid of me at all, actually it seems to know me…

What the HELL are you doing outside and HOW did you make it there? After getting her inside—which was surprisingly easy and required no running after her or even touching her—, I quickly found the culprit: there is a hole in the bottom of the net. It’s not very large, but she’s tiny and could easily squeeze her way out through the hole, provided she has the will to do it. And, obviously, she does have that will.

I’ll have to get that net repaired.

Just updating on what’s going on in this life of mine.

One of my roommates is gone for the whole week. That doesn’t change much to my life.

Eric is really not well these days. He has a lot of obsessions and washes his hands a lot. I wish I could do something to help him, but there isn’t much to do. He needs to see a psychiatrist, but I can’t take one out of…a magic hat.

Work is okay, although I missed a lot…I have a hard time sleeping well. My brain turns on when I go to bed and does everything it can to keep awake. How very nice of it.

My mom was here Friday, and she slept here. I didn’t see her much, because I was sleeping when she left, but I ate with her and other family members in an African restaurant on Friday night. It was quite good.

I abhor that day. Beside a few jokes, like some Google ones, I just hate it. I’m an anxious person. I keep having obsessions / thoughts that the whole world is not really like I see it, that X and Y are lying to me, etc. So today is the perfect day for me to wish to hide in my bedroom (or to play Final Fantasy V, after I convince my brain that the game will not fool me) and not go outdoors.

I hate reading everything with an actually justified suspicion. OK, which part of this is real? Which part is a lie? Is this website pulling a prank or are they serious?